Christmas Baby
December 26, 2011Last night I held a baby.
I’ve held so few in my life, having no younger siblings or relatives, and having never logged any babysitting hours. The last time I held one was so long ago I can’t remember either the baby or the situation. Truth be told, the idea of handling someone else’s baby scares me – the same way it would scare me to be carrying a Rodin in the trunk of my car. Who wants the responsibility?
However, last night at a Christmas party, J, without sounding any warning, put his baby in my lap. “Hold her,” he said, and more or less grinned at my dismay.
J’s baby turned around to look at me. She touched my beard. She considered me. Then she returned to agitating lightly in my lap, reaching out in front of her and softly gurgling.
It felt awkward for a moment. But only for a moment. Holding J’s baby, I was reminded that babies—at least nine-month-olds—aren’t delicate. They won’t break. To the contrary, they’re vigorous and durable. They’re alive. They have heft. One needn’t handle them like crystal (or like a Rodin). Plus, they’ll tell you how they feel. If they’re not comfortable, they’ll let you know. You don’t have to monitor a baby as though it were comatose. Good baby-care, it seems, requires one’s steady presence, not one’s constant vigilance. Thank God.
All of this is reassuring. I still have hopes of having children. And last night I had the feeling that I can do this. I can handle a baby. This isn’t so hard. What’s to be afraid of?
What a good feeling! Maybe I need to change a diaper soon. That’s probably a better test of parental suitability. Here’s to hoping I pass.
Sweet post. When Baby A gave you the once over she definitely approved — which is frequently, but not always her reaction to a new person.
Caring for babies is incredibly hard, intuitive and easy all at the same time.
You will be a great dad. You don’t need prior training. The baby will train you, day by day.